It’s spring again, and I’ve reacquainted myself with joy. I didn’t realize how unhappy I was until I left my first few shifts at my new job feeling like I could walk on the clouds. I wasn’t motivated to be creative, or to see my friends, or even to leave the house. I was hiding, truthfully. Rotting. Thinking that was as good as it was going to get for me.

Job hunting ruined my life. Despite all of my education, I wasn’t getting any opportunities in my chosen field. It was draining to continuously put myself out there, begging for just one person to reach out a hand to take a chance on me. I lost faith in myself and my abilities. You’ll notice I haven’t written a single piece in at least a month, probably longer. Nothing felt worthwhile. I didn’t realize how depressed I was until I started this new job. It feels mildly ridiculous that unemployment affected me so heavily, but I know I wasn’t alone. My support system held me up when I couldn’t, and I am eternally grateful.

March has been beautiful for me. I’ve found my creativity again, and I feel lighter in my daily life. Joy and I are becoming friends again. I missed her dearly. As the sun comes out to greet me, I’m pretty sure that everything is lining up in exactly the way I’ve been longing for.

I’ve read four books this month! My girlfriend and I have been having a Twilight marathon over FaceTime. I’ve made new friends! I want to write again, desperately. I feel like I’m coming out of the longest, darkest tunnel I’ve ever been in, and I’m thoroughly enjoying basking in the sun.

Hopefully, I can find the inspiration for new pieces on Substack. In other news, I’ve decided on a new book to write. We’ll see if I stick with this one, but I’d really like to. With my employed era (who cheered? just me?), I have room to start another creative venture. I don’t know how much I want to say because I am immensely terrified of failing publicly, but if it pans out, you’ll be the first to know.

I’ve missed my inspiration and my creativity, but I’ve missed me most. Here’s to a beautiful spring and a fresh start.